There are a few unwritten rules for hiking: The fastest hiker should stay at the back. The slowest hiker should be at the front. Unfortunately, can you guess who the fastest hiker was?
Yeah, that’d be me. So I took the rear, keeping pace with the group as we moved through the mountains, taking in the scenery. The air was crisp, the views breathtaking. But something was off—my high-cut hiking boots kept rubbing against my heels, forcing me to stop and adjust them constantly. A few times, I almost lost the group.
After hours of walking, we arrived at Tianyun Lodge (means sky and cloud), a wooden cabin perched above the clouds. It was straight out of a dream. The clouds drifted so close you could almost touch them, and for the first time in my life, I saw a sunset untouched by skyscrapers. I felt truly at peace—so much so that I forgot I was lugging a 30-kilogram, 25-year-old backpack.
As night fell, the wooden lodge took on a different vibe. The wind howled through the cracks, creating an eerie Dolby surround sound experience that had everyone on edge. Our guide, in true mountain-man fashion, refused to sleep inside, insisting he’d keep watch outside.
Since campfires weren’t an option, we used high-altitude gas canisters to cook hotpot—probably the only thing keeping us from capturing a wild animal for dinner. After eating, we explored a bit and found a newly built tin-roofed shelter. Unlike the wooden cabin, this place had a thick steel emergency door and tiny windows. Someone asked if we could sleep there. Honestly, no one wanted to stay in the wooden lodge anymore—the sound of the wind was terrifying.
I didn’t like the tin house either, though I couldn’t explain why. Some of the group moved in, others stayed in the lodge, and the guide slept in a tent.
The next morning, everything seemed fine—until Jimmy lost it.
At breakfast, he started rambling:
“I need to go down the mountain.”
“We’re being followed.”
“I’m taking the elevator back.”
“I’m done hiking.”
Now, Jimmy was never the fittest guy. In fact, he barely trained for this trip. But this? This was extreme. We tried talking to him for half an hour, but he wouldn’t budge.
The instructor finally had him sign a waiver, told him to stay put and not wander off, and left him with: Two high-altitude gas canisters, two cans of spaghetti (luxury food for hikers), a large loaf of bread, two bottles of water, a radio and emergency instant rice (just add water, commonly used in disaster relief). Jimmy waved goodbye as he made his way back to the tin house.
As we continued hiking, one of the senior girls casually mentioned:
“Hey… did you guys know that tin house we slept in last night was actually Qilai Second Fortress?”
“…Wait, what?!”
“Yeah, kinda creepy, huh? Good thing nothing happened.”
“Uh… does Jimmy know?”
Poor Jimmy. Alone. In Qilai Second Fortress. With a cold front approaching.
And then it hit me. I gave him two cans of spaghetti.
But…
I forgot to give him a can opener. Oops.
Our goal for today is the Tianhai Lodge (Sky and sea)—or at least, that’s what we called it.
As usual, I was hauling my 30-kilogram, 25-year-old backpack, trudging along at the back of the group. But my damn hiking boots just wouldn’t cooperate. They were high-cut boots, meant to provide ankle support, but for some reason, my heels kept slipping out. Every couple of hours, I had to stop, loosen my laces, readjust, and stuff my feet back in. By noon, I had already done this four times.
Then, just before our lunch break, it happened again. I stopped, squatted down to fix my laces, looked up—
And everyone was gone.
Crap.
I quickly got up and sprinted forward, hoping to catch up. But after just 50 meters, I turned a corner and—
A fork in the trail.
Two paths. No signs. No idea which way to go.
And then, I heard a voice.
“Right side.”
“Go right.”
“Take the right path.”
I didn’t think. I just ran. There was no way I was staying lost in the mountains alone. Even for a bathroom break, I’d drag Yu along with me—no way was I wandering by myself now.
Speaking of bathrooms… that’s when I really, REALLY had to poop.
Great. Now I was lost and about to crap myself.
Not the priority right now. I kept running, but with 30 kilograms bouncing on my back, my stamina was draining fast. My sprint slowed to a jog. Then to a power walk. Then to a sluggish trudge.
Where the hell was everyone?!
And then—
A hand slapped my shoulder.
I jumped out of my skin.
No one was supposed to be behind me. We were the only group on the mountain today—there had been no one else at the registration checkpoint.
Unless… Jimmy had suddenly found enlightenment and decided to run after me?
I turned around—
Yu.
WHAT.
“Y-Y-Yu?! But… but you were ahead of me!!”
“Duh. Who else would it be? Huff… huff…” Yu was completely out of breath.
“Why are you so winded?” I asked.
“Because you fucking disappeared!! One second you were there, the next you were gone. We saw you running down the OTHER trail, and the guide told me to chase you. I was yelling your name the whole time, but you didn’t even flinch. I had to drop my pack and sprint after you!”
Oh.
Oh no.
If Yu hadn’t caught me…
I would’ve been alone in the mountains.
I had no radio.
My phone had no signal.
I almost got myself lost forever.
We made it back to the group, and I tried to shake off the weird feeling. What was that voice? Why didn’t I hear Yu calling me? Best not to think about it.
We had a quick lunch—just some bread. I wondered if Jimmy was eating his own ration of bread too. Then, finally, nature called again.
“Yu, come with me to take a dump.”
“Dude, what is wrong with you?? Why would I want to watch you shit??”
“I didn’t say WATCH, I just don’t wanna be alone, okay?!”
So we found a spot, and as I was mid-squat, Yu suddenly let out a bloodcurdling scream.
“HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!”
My entire body seized up.
My ass clenched so hard, it literally snapped my poop in half.
I spun around in sheer terror, lost my balance—
And stepped directly into my own shit.
Nothing. There was nothing behind me.
“YU WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?! I JUST STEPPED IN MY OWN SHIT!!”
Yu just looked at me.
“Bro… how long have you been holding that in? That is the biggest turd I’ve ever seen in my life.”
I was going to kill him.
Also, I made a horrifying discovery—
I forgot toilet paper.
And let me tell you something about high-altitude alpine plants. Their leaves are very, very small.



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